How far is too far: Changing the culture of a program.

Last weekend, I returned to campus after a long, and much needed, winter break. While I was home, I spent quite a bit of time reflecting on the past season (my first season). After speaking with and listening to leaders who would be considered experts in their field talk about leadership (amongst other topics), I felt energized to return to campus. I felt a new sense of purpose and drive as I thought about what I would do differently this time around. Also, knowing the environment I would be returning to, I felt much more prepared than when I first arrived in August.

When I landed at the airport, there was certainly no time to waste. Our assistant coach picked me up and drove me back to my head coach’s house where I picked up my car and drove to the women’s indoor futsal tournament. There, I watched the men’s and women’s teams compete in an offseason tournament organized by the players and I sat and talked with groups of players in between games about their winter break.

In the past week, I have had a number of positive conversations and interactions with players. I have confessed to them that I want to make myself available to them for anything that they may need and apologized for not being there for them in the past. As I continue having these conversations, there are a few thoughts that come to my mind.

First, I wonder if I am doing the right thing as a coach by involving myself in their personal lives. Meaning, as I sit in the coffee shop on our campus, I might sit down or meet with players for some time and ask how they are doing, what they thought about training, or ask about some new ideas the coaching staff is trying to implement. I understand that there is a very thin line for coaches, but I also have learned that what athletes, at least the female athletes I work with, want more than anything is to feel listened to and heard. I don’t know if I could make an impact on the field with players that I don’t at least know some things about them and have established some level of rapport with them. The question is: how much rapport do I need to be able to influence players without crossing the line?

Second, I have been thinking about team culture. I was told once that a coach I know worked with a group of ECNL players who won national championships, but they all hated each other. For teammates who don’t like each other or don’t want to socialize with each other outside of practices and games, should we as coaches force them to? Are we as coaches able to “force” a culture shift or should we be meeting players and teams where they are at first and foremost? After a brief reflection, my thought so far is this: I think that coaches should first model the behaviors that they want to see from their athletes. I believe that players want to do the right thing and want to do what their coach asks of them. If the coach is inconsistent or doesn’t know exactly what they want, I think that is where athletes get confused and problems occur. I feel that by forcing athletes to bond when they don’t want to, it will drive a deeper wedge between them. I think that in theory it might make sense- helping people to seek commonalities amongst one another and spend more time with each other. However, I think that it is important to first look at the leadership from the top, before working down to the chain when it comes to changing a culture. But I’m not sure. Do coaches need to change a culture of players who don’t like each other, especially when they have achieved some level of success?