Coaching in a man's world.

I often hear how soccer is "a man's world," or "it's an old boy's club." When I first started coaching at eighteen-years-old, I noticed that I was surrounded by more male coaches than female coaches. However; I wasn't really bothered by it because I had a good relationship with the male coaches I worked with. Some of them were my former coaches and so I felt safe and respected by them. More importantly, the men each mentored me and helped me grow as a person and as a coach. This support kept me involved in coaching for the last decade as I continued playing.

Unfortunately, my bubble burst when I became a graduate assistant [GA] at a college far away from my home environment. I have now seen glimpses of what so many female coaches have faced and are facing. I work closely with the men's side and the women's side at my university, and I am the only female on staff for either program. This can pose some challenges.

One challenge was particularly difficult for me to face. The offices of the GA's are all located in one room away from the offices of our head coaches. The male GA of one team and I do not see eye to eye. One day, I needed a camera to film a training session for my C license course. I asked the head coach of this GA's team if I would be able to borrow it, to which he said I could. The head coach removed the camera from their GA's desk and gave it to me. Not long after this did the GA approach me questioning why I had it in my possession and demanding to know if I took it from his desk.

This is an individual that I did not have a rapport with. Additionally, my office is a small cubicle in the corner of the room and he was positioned in a way that I could not run away, if I needed to. He is a tall, fit, and strong man that was standing no more than a foot way from me, a petite woman, sitting down in my chair. The manner in which he approached me was accusatory and aggressive, to which I told him that I did not appreciate the way he was speaking to me, cornering me, and looking at me.

After I reported this incident, I received no follow up within the administration. I do not want to minimize what happened because I was scared in that moment and immediately after. I told a mentor what had happened and said that I did not want to talk about it the next day at the office. But they said it needed to be brought up again and it needed to be talked about.

When I look back at what happened and what I was thinking in that moment, I wasn't focused on what he was saying, but on how I was feeling. I felt unsafe, I felt afraid, I felt trapped, and all I could think about was that I wanted to get out and I couldn't. I should never feel this way or have been in such a position in particular with a colleague at the workplace.

Now, there are a few ways I can interpret what happened in the office that day. I would like to think he is a young coach and it was a miscommunication, but I just don't think this was the case.

My question is, would he have spoken and approached a man the same way that he did to me? I have a hard time believing that he would and this is part of the problem.